My Strange Habits

"We all have quirks: too few makes a person dull, too many makes them awkward, but the right amount makes them undeniably endearing."

Now, I started with that in quotes and italics so you'd automatically read it as some wise insight to grab your attention. It's really my own thought, so give me the credit if you ever use it.

It's taken decades to cultivate my quirky way of approaching life, and although I don't typically broadcast the things that make me a little odd, they may seem interesting or even entertaining to someone outside of my routine.

Here we go:

I start each day by drinking a warm cup of water with a tsp. of apple cider vinegar mixed in.

I almost never use face wash anymore -I use an olive oil/castor oil cleanse. That's right: oil on the face, steam a few times with a washrag soaked in hot water, and wipe clean.

I drink a glass of clay water every other day.

I end each shower by switching the water to cold for a good 2 or 3 minutes; James Bond does it too, so there.

I only shampoo my hair maybe once a week. I "wash" it with conditioner about every other day.

I tie almost every food or candy wrapper in a tight neat knot (fold it flat, continue folding until it's long and slender, then loop one end over the other) before throwing it away.

I never sleep on my stomach. Like ever. Maybe that's because I have a massive chest and my rib cage is uncomfortable when I lay on top of it. But anyway...

I wash my dishes immediately after I use them. Maybe it's due to the fact that I can't stand to let them pile into a daunting chore-stack.

I take power naps. They range from about 10 to 20 minutes in length, and I just automatically wake up when I'm all done.

I can't stand to just cut my fingernails; that jagged edge has to be filed smooth immediately.

That's it. Those are all my strange every day habits.

So how do I rank: dull, awkward, or undeniably endearing?

Man's Search for Work

I'm very busy for a person who doesn't have employment. I sometimes marvel at people who claim they're bored. I sometimes feel as though I'd like some company, a change of scenery, or maybe a more exciting routine, but being bored? How does that happen? Maybe that's mainly due to my mindset -my eyes are wide open and I'm surrounded by stimuli to keep ideas brewing. I don't have a job, or school, but there still aren't enough hours in the day.

I've spent a lot of time on job searching and I've learned quite a lot.

Here are a few thoughts:

1) I have absolutely relied on one website for invaluable insights and guidance. This site would shock the pants off of you. I'm now a die-hard follower. The site? artofmanliness.com. If you've never looked over this site, I'd urge you to do so. But I won't twist your arm. Just know that if you don't recognize a good thing when you see it, you probably don't merit having it.
They've offered incredible insights into résumé creation/improvement, job-searching guidance, and a lot of motivation.

2) A résumé is not at all what most people think it is. My views have really evolved. A résumé involves digging deep, self-evaluation, strategy, prayer, guidance, revision, and lots of polishing. I'm still hammering away at mine. It looks awful pretty, and I'm proud of that fact. But the strategy and revision is in full sway. I've found incredible help and guidance (being pointed in the right direction by the Art of Manliness blog) in résumé writing and almost feel qualified to write résumés professionally.

3) A job search should be approached more like an adventurous treasure quest or a big game hunting expedition. It should be full of self-assertion, struggle, sweat, adventure, boldness, learning, taking initiative, and stepping forward. It is not enough to sit behind a desk, press a few buttons, and wait: that may work out all right for a less-glamorous pursuit. But if you're serious about a real career, you shouldn't be waiting on others to reach out to you with an opportunity, no matter how glitzy your credentials look. You should engage in the hunt, show people who you are, and how capable you are. Represent. Stand up, go to it, be a man. (Or a woman ...the Art of Manliness blog is rubbing off on me.)

4) Make the most of your current situation. You may not be entirely happy about your situation. You may be secretly planning an escape from it each and every night you lay down to sleep. You may get urges to abandon everything and hit the road penniless simply to embrace what adventures lay outside your present sphere.
It was my goal, upon finishing up school in December, to have landed a job by the end of January. It almost happened. I had an interview for a great job that I really wanted, but the position was granted to someone with a Masters degree. And here I am, early March, still camped out in my parents' basement. BUT I've been able to spend time with family, sort out a lot of my personal belongings, brush up the résumé (over and over ...and over again), and get into the absolute best shape of my life. I'm definitely looking forward to a change and to gainful employment. But life will all too soon rob me of the pleasant things that surround me at present: my mother's voice, the sound of my Dad's boots on the kitchen tile, the smiles and laughs of nieces and nephews, and all the rest of the bliss I'm surrounded by. No matter what stage of life you're in, cherish the good things. Don't wish them away because you're so focused on something else.

That's about all of the wisdom from this chapter of my life.
Ever need help with a résumé? Don't call me. Go check out artofmanliness.com first. I'd be happy to look over your polished résumé once you've taken their advice.

Newness

I'm going to just jump right back in here like nothing ever happened. Like I never neglected this online journal.

A lot has happened since I last posted. I've cleaned up my blog layout (I'm sure you've all noticed), I've welcomed a new darling niece into my life,

I've earned my degree (at long last), I now wear a modest trimmed beard,

I'm in the best shape I've ever been in, and have been living in a room in my parents' basement as I continue searching for a dream job.

Now, here's the part where I just throw out all the thoughts I've got to write.

I think people should make a habit of getting outside. There are days when it's not a great idea, but on the days that are pleasant or even bearable, we should be out and about more often than we are. We should use our porches and patios. We should get a little sun and air. We should slow down enough to appreciate the simple beauties in what's right in our backyard. Not only do I think it's a healthy idea, but I would venture to say God is much nearer when we get outside of our lives and take a grateful glance at His creations.

While I'm on the "sage advice" kick, let's throw these gems in:

(I heard these quotes and have really seen the wisdom in them lately.)

"What other people think of you is none of your business."

"Short visits make long friends."

I could explicate some on those, but I think they're best left as they are. Thanks goes to my aunt Cat for that first one. My aunts are the source of a lot of sound advice for life.

That should do it for now. I've got a few other ideas of things that I'll be posting soon, so watch for them.

It's good to be back.

I'm Back

I'm in desperation. My blog has been dormant these past few months.
I'll tell you what I've decided. We are going to have a revival, y'all.
I found a list of topics that I'll be following to get me going again. It's not my usual method, but as I said: I'm desperate here.

Today's topic: 5 ways to win my heart.
Ok, so this list is a little girly, I admit. But this should make things all the more fun and interesting!

Way 1: confidence. There's faked confidence, there's cockiness, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a healthy, solid self-confidence that says I know my strengths and I'm a valuable individual.

Way 2: humor. Wit and the ability to laugh at dumb things are hugely attractive.

Way 3: practicality. Someone doesn't have to be brilliant to dazzle me; practicality and common sense are impressive. I guess beyond this, but somewhat related is level-headedness. I think the term some might use is "even-keeled".

Way 4: activity. I like active people. There's something very unattractive about a person who relishes opportunities to be lazy. There's a call for the occasional relaxation and unwinding. But your leisure time should be focused on developing yourself and living life, not catching your favorite TV shows every night.

Way 5: tenderness. I love it if you still have a tender side like you did when you were a kid, and it's still there, only coming out at special times, in sweet lovable emotion.

So there you have it. My heart is yours if you've got them five. At least for a first date.

Products That I Love

I've wanted to share this for a while. I guess I need to get it written so I can move onto actually meaningful thoughts and leave this alone.

When I find something good, I can't help but blab about it. I try not to be overbearing, but for some reason I feel compelled to share the goodness.

First, WoodWick candles. My good friend Jay bought me my first at a Cracker Barrel gift shop. They come in many awesome scents, last much longer than a typical candle, and gently crackle as they burn. You just have to try one to appreciate it.

Next, the Clif bar.

Looking back, I don't know how I made it through a morning of back-to-back-to-back classes without one. You have to find which ones you prefer: I love the Blueberry Crisp. It is amazing. Other good ones are the oatmeal raisin, cherry almond, black cherry almond, and white chocolate macadamia nut.
Why am I raving? Well, a Clif bar is not just a sissy granola bar. It will actually tide you over and stave off pangs of starvation so you can comfortably be bored during a lecture rather than zoning out on account of hunger. Pack it in your backpack, your purse, your satchel, your day-pack. They are a great way to have food on the go when you don't have time/means/desire to prepare something more substantial. Read the story of how they were developed on the package. They are an all-around win. And you can get them 6 for $5 at the cheap big W store.

Next, Neutrogena Skin Clearing Shave Cream.

I only discovered this product in December. This one is a game-changer. It's not a foam or a gel, and it turns even a half-dull razor into a smooth-sailing grooming machine. I am completely sold and will likely stay true to this product forever unless something better is developed.

Next, a really vain thing. Confession: I hate being pasty-white.
My friend Kendall introduced me to the Walmart brand "Equate Healthy Glow Daily Firming Moisturizer". Lotion is good for your skin anyhow, and this helps create a subtle shade that takes you from brilliant-white to robust and colorful in a matter of days. It also smells really good.

And last, and probably one of the best (I saved it for last), my friend Brad clued me in on the amazingness.
Walgreen's carries an impostor fragrance that smells like Abercrombie's "Fierce". Do you know how amazing Abercrombie fragrances are? And do you know how stupidly expensive they are?
Brad was right. This impostor fragrance is spot-on and it LASTS. I had to experience to believe it. For $4, it's not a huge gamble. I have had more compliments on this fragrance than anything else I've worn. So until they stop making it, I'm with them for my fragrance needs.

It's called "Raw Power". And I think you'll love it.

Okay, now you know a few of my favorite things. Now let's move on to blogging about something more meaningful.

Where Have I Been?

Let the silence be broken. Or, for you Nacho fans, let the Silencio bruise his bunions.
Either way, I haven't posted this year at ALL! SHOOT!

You'd think I had a New Year's resolution to neglect blogging or something, but you are wrong. I'm still alive. I've just had a lot of work-y opportunities lately.

I've also occupied some of my "leisure time" (that was a joke) with Pinterest (a given), YouTube (a universal constant in my life), and a new iPhone app called "Draw Something".

All that, and add facebook, and my young modern self is completely ensnared in a cyber-spatial labarynth from which few, if any, escape. Is it any wonder I haven't been blogging?

Well, I'm posting this now to share with you some of my favorite guilty pleasures. I would post links, but for some reason (and don't think I haven't tried and tried and tried to make it work), I can't embed links in my posts on blogger. It doesn't work.

So, to share the goodness with you, I'm posting screen shots. Any time you're bored or need a laugh, or need to eliminate some "leisure time" (anyone living in Joseph City should be laughing at all 3 of those suggestions), take my suggestions for the best YouTube videos ever. Rewatch them if it's been awhile. I'm sure not all of them will be appreciated as much by you as they are by me, but I practically live by the humor I find in these things. It brings a smile to my face even during the most trying days.

Here they are:

And two of my absolute favorites, Harvard Sailing Team and Julian Smith (watch the Harvard Sailing Team videos in the order I have them arranged).

I have to add, if you haven't seen Glozelle on YouTube, check her videos while you're at it. May I suggest her "cinnamon challenge" video for starters.
Join me next time (hopefully not months away) for a post about "My Favorite Things".

Home for the Holidays (at last)

I never quite thought I'd make it to this point: I'm home. The fact is still settling in, and ever so slowly the cares of last semester diminish as I spend time amidst the people and scenes I find so dear.

I guess I have a lot to say. I've experienced quite a range of moods, from reflective to melancholy (I love pronouncing that differently ever since I watched Megamind), to nostalgic. So let me spill the thoughts.

I surpassed my weight goal. At the start of my training sessions with my awesome trainer, Ian,I set a weight goal for what I wanted to weigh when I finished training. I started weighing 214. My goal was 195. I'm thrilled to be able to say that last week I weighed in at 193. At the end of my training, I sent Ian a text:

"Yeah seriously it's been a life-altering experience for me in a lot of ways. It's affected the way I feel, my mood, my confidence, and of course how I look. It carries over into every other aspect of my life. It's way cool to experience that change."

The next week I came into the gym, and that very text was quoted word for word on the white-board they use to promote training. I had to smile. I am their anonymous poster-child, kind of, I guess.

Another accomplishment: I decided to make my bed every day for the last two semesters. My friend Becky once told me that if you just make your bed, your whole room will look cleaner. It's true. So I tried it. I'm proud to say that I made my bed every single morning. And the success continues. It's a habit now. At the end of the day, no matter how cruddy life feels, it always seems a little brighter when you see that you have a neatly made bed to end it in.

Coming home for the holidays, I never quite know what my sleeping arrangement will be. This year, Julianne is off to serve the Lord (hiking, play volleyball...) so her room was vacant. It is now serving as a guest room for this man.
The funny thing is, this was my room all through high school. And the bed is in roughly the same spot. So much similarity in setting as my high school days, that I was instantly led to reflect on all that's transpired since I last resided in this place. That's the cause for the nostalgia.

There are certain things that I always look forward to at Christmas. If they don't happen every year, the world and life still go on, but some rituals have memories attached to them and the memories are renewed as the ritual plays out. The first is my Mother's orange rolls each Christmas morning. The smell is absolutely entrancing, the taste, enamoring. I savor that memory even now.
Another ritual is holiday carriage rides. Not too many people around have access to a carriage, let alone a good horse and horseman. Our family has all that (and more!). It's hard to put into words the feeling of a Christmas day carriage ride. In the very instant, you're given a taste of older days, a flavor of what the Currier and Ives scenes depict, a feel of timeless thrill that you can get no other way. I love this ritual and love that my dad is just the man for the job.

My younger brother asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year. It's come to this: my real gift is being with the people I love in the place I love most. That is what I want most. And every year I get that, all other gifts seem like trivialities. Not that I mind the trivial fun things, but my heart is on the true lasting joy of making memories with my family.

This year, I engaged the old man's enthusiasm for the season (his inner-child really shines through at this time of year) and got him excited about putting up some lights. Our house sure looks sad without any exterior glow.
I'll interject and confess that the lights are my favorite part of Christmas decoration. Can you imagine this holiday without the lights? Do you feel the excitement I do when you see a great light display? I love it. It makes everything that much more festive. (May your days be merry and bright)
So dad bought some lights. And I think I'll be stringing them up tomorrow.

To all my dear friends and my lovely family, Merry Christmas! I love this holiday almost as much as I love making memories with you all.

The Triple Ten

I've meant to write this post ever since the 8th. It's one of those reflective posts.

The year 30 is something of a mile-post age. I mean there's no inherent magic in a number, it's just another digit. But it does provide the opportunity to look back on things and see how things have changed.

I look in the mirror, and here's what I see:

-White hairs. They aren't that prevalent, so fairly inconspicuous (to anyone but me). I confess, every now and then I grab the tweezers and pull a few of them. I can't help but think I should wear them proudly, but my vanity still wins out over my aged wisdom.

-The healthiest version of me I've seen in decades. I seriously have more muscle and less fat than I can ever recall having in my life. I think that's almost the inverse of what one might expect from another single American dude of my age.

-Youth. I'm constantly reminded by the youngsters on this campus that 30 is the age of decrepit geezer-hood. I think that is a very relative judgment. I know that almost anyone else would look at the age 30 and would love to be that young. The truth is, I don't feel old. I feel young, vibrant, and energetic. I usually let the number be untold and let my youth speak for itself. Maybe I should also point out that my actions denote a less-than-mature individual. But I can't help that.

I thought for sure that I'd be graduated and moved onto the next stage of my life by this age. I almost made it, and that's close enough for me to be content.

Another measurement is my single status.
I helped lead a field trip to the Grand Canyon last weekend, and all the students assumed that I was married. That came as quite a surprise to me, and it shocked them all to hear that I was indeed unmarried and (gasp) single. I know that this may evident the need for reprimand, but I'm going to say it anyway: I love my life. I'm really glad I'm still single and have the freedom to do things that married folks only think of doing "someday". I don't care if people call me a "menace". I'll smile, not able to subdue the thought that they're at least a bit jealous. It's not that I would shun the amazing opportunity of a blissful companionship. But it hasn't happened and life is still awesome.

I'm not a conventional person. While I know that convention is formed on the basis of hard-earned wisdom, I can't help but question it all along the way. Humanity is composed of the widest spectrum, and we're supposed to all fit into one societal norm of convention? Sorry, but I like to think of convention as more like guidelines. Life is far too dynamic to restrict it to the rigid expectations that have been laid down by society. That's not to excuse behavior that is out of line, it's just reality, and I find it fascinating. It brings color to life.

I'm also aware that I'm not as conservative in my views now. Life experience has taught me that I should be more objective in my approach to life.

That's how I view myself at this stage. It would be fun to know what other people see. Not their modified opinion that would be suitable for sharing, but their honest view. Not that it would necessarily (I spelled that right on the first try!) change my view, but gosh people are interesting.

Thanks to all of you who have helped me survive to this ripe old age and helped to shape me into the guy I see in the mirror.

News

I know I've had a lot of back-and-forth talk of graduating and the possibility of one more semester. I'm sorry the story changes so frequently. The truth be told, I want a simple solid answer too.

But here's the real situation, and I'm really just swallowing all sense of pride to disclose it to you:
I'm not going to be able to graduate in December.
Before you say "Oh NO!!!" just keep in mind that I'm not freaking out over it, so you shouldn't either. Let me explain. No, too much. Let me sum up.

I spread myself too thin this semester. I hate to admit that, but current grades and my stress levels are firm evidence that can't be overlooked.

I have very good instructors, and I feel I've learned the concepts in class well, but as far as keeping deadlines for homework submission, I have failed across the spectrum. My exam scores are high, but that's not enough to counter the point deficit indicated by my grades. That's one thing I really hate about school: when busy work takes precedent over learning. The learning is happening, it shows in my exam scores. But the busy work dominates my agenda, forces me to rush, and utterly decimates any chance of long-term retention of any of the concepts I'm learning.

Long story short (too late!), I am (and this is final) coming back for one more semester. Here is the silver lining in that dismal blotch of water vapor:
I already have financial aid awarded for one more semester that would be forfeit if I were to graduate this semester.
And I have a break from January to April before I'm scheduled to come back to school.

So my GPA has suffered, my pride is laid out on the table for everyone to mourn prior to its graveside service, and I continue on: learning as much as I can from my classes and not giving a hoot in Hell of a damn about busy work.

The plan for my off-semester? Arizona, Flagstaff, living with my best friend Jay, working, and enjoying time near enough my family and friends to visit often.
Oh, and by the way, thanks for those of you who made an effort to make me feel loved on my birthday. I had a great day!

The Status of Things

I just got back from a paid trip to Arizona. Okay, so it's not quite that glamorous; I was helping lead our physical geology class on a field trip to the Grand Canyon. I had a great time, but it snowed on us Friday night and was below-freezing temperatures for most of Saturday. All in all, it was an awesome trip. Here's the bad thing:

I wanted to stay in Arizona. I have 6 more weeks of school left at BYU-Idaho, then I graduate. And a trip to Arizona at this point made me want to be done even worse than before.

I am kind of freaking out at this point. I'm completely focused on post-graduation details and care almost nothing about my current classes. They have nothing to do with geology, and I am just hoop-jumping at this point with the end so close I can almost taste it!

Not only does Arizona call my name, but its allure is magnified by the prospect of the holidays with my family: a holiday I don't have to come back from.

But that also means big life decisions and grown-up living. That scares me some. I think the excitement outweighs the fear in this case, and that's an encouraging thought.

What should I do for Thanksgiving? They're only giving us a part of a week off, so there's no point in traveling home, just to turn around and come back a few days later, especially when the end of the semester is only a few weeks after that. I have friends who are staying in Rexburg, so if I stick around I'll be in good company.

So that's it. I'm freaking out. Wanna freak out with me?

All the Fun I Can Muster

My week has been an absolute blast. I've reveled in the full range of fall activities and really gotten a good fill of enjoyment.

Highlights:

Carving jack-o-lanterns with our Home Evening group.

The Haunted Mill (ok, so that was last week, but I'm still giddy).

Costume dance party Friday Night in the basement of the Hemming Village shopping plaza. It was super crowded and sauna hot, and the fire dept. showed up to enforce fire-code regulations (I guess we had too many people in there).

Costume dance party at the Legacy flight museum. This party was SO much fun! Afterwards, me and my friends Riley, Kat, and Alicia defied curfew (yes) and went to Denny's.

When life seems too good, something always happens to bring your head out of the clouds.
In this case, my head must've caught a cold up there in the clouds (not a huge surprise after all the close contact with a bunch of sweaty dancing college kids). I woke up this morning stuffy, congested, and with the unmistakable grogginess that can only mean one thing: it's a sick day.

I love and I hate sick days. I've never taken a sick day when I wasn't sick. Blame that on my genes. So while a sick day means a day full of dilly-dallying, lounging, eating whatever sounds good, and sleeping, it also means that you can't fully enjoy it because you are sick. I still try and make the positive aspects of it outweigh the awful symptoms (sniffle, blow, toss tissue, continue).
It's a warm enough day that I may just go take a walk in the park. Getting the blood circulating always seems to do some good. Plus, it gets me out of the house and the fresh air has to be good for me.

So what have I been doing on this day of sickness? Well, I ventured out all bundled in my coat and beanie (which I still haven't taken off) to WalMart where I bought some pills, some cough drops, and lotion-infused tissues.

Whenever I bring that combo of items to a cashier, I have to wonder if it scares them. I half expect them to pull out a respirator and latex gloves, and say a quick prayer that I'll pay with a card so they don't have to handle cash that I've touched.

If my cashier was apprehensive today, she did an amazing job not showing it. It makes me wonder about the bravery of ordinary, everyday people. Anyway...

I've also been downloading some songs I've been wanting, reading my sister's blog (that in itself is making me feel better), checking out people's pictures from the weekend, and contemplating checking out Pinterest.

I haven't yet started a movie. I usually stick to 3 choices when I'm sick: You've Got Mail, The Princess Bride, or Phantom of the Opera. I think it's Phantom for sure this time.

But after that I may venture beyond my usual choices in an attempt to fool myself into thinking I'm not really sick and that I'm just having a fun day at home. I'm feeling kind of "Clue" vibe.

What do you do when you're sick?

Lessons

I feel bad: not the weepy, remorseful, sickened, self-loathing sort of bad (though the Phantom get-up may give that impression). It's fairly mild, but present nonetheless so I'm writing about it.
I hope this makes sense as I divulge an explanation.
The reason for the feeling is that I have left some things undone. I have a tendency to focus on the here and now far too much, and anything remote or quiet or non-demanding gets shoved aside, even when I care about it. I'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about, but deal with the tendency in a much better way.
I just checked my Yahoo mail. I had 136 unread emails. Talk about neglect. There were letters from friends and loved ones, loving notes from my mom and a letter from my sister who is in the MTC. I think I should probably close that account and have you all change to my gmail address, which I check nearly every day.
Along those same lines comes this lesson:
I had to go talk with my Calculus professor. He's an awesome guy, very cheerful, knowledgeable, approachable, and down-to-earth. Here's the situation: his class has no deadlines for homework. It's up to you to tackle class material in preparation for class discussion and exams. So there is no deadline to drive you to act; it's up to you to learn.
I like that, and at the same time, it's hard. My academic history has taught me to focus on the things that require work with deadlines attached. I hate that, but it's the hard reality. If I don't have a deadline, I let a task float in the back of my mind and bother me, not to the point of action, just a constant hum of mental nagging, "you really should get that done". Then I swat the idea away, as if it were a mosquito buzzing in my ear, and move on, working away to meet a deadline for something else.
Does anyone else see the flaw?
My instructor pointed it out for me:
Some of the most important things in life do not come with deadlines.
For example, children don't come with deadlines. There is no deadline saying that "by ____ date, by 6:00pm, you need to have taught your child the importance of honesty". Does that mean that your child will go through life never learning that important lesson? Let's hope not.
We have to learn how to prioritize those things without deadlines so that we devote ample time in their direction because they are important to us. Deadlines help us accomplish things and society wouldn't be driven to the level of efficiency that it maintains without that structure, but time-management requires some personal decisions and some real balancing and prioritizing.
For me, that means that I need to spend at least 6 (probably more, but I know that's not gonna happen) hours on Calculus each week. It also means that I should plan out times to take care of other important things, like talking to the people I care about, even if they live hundreds of miles away and I don't have to have it done by a certain time.
Has it taken me this long to realize this principle? No, it's a fairly simple fact. It has taken some real experience though for it to sink in and stick.
That being said, I'm excited about life. It's my favorite time of year right now (despite the Rexburg chill) and this weekend is sure to be filled with fun adventures. Halloween is Monday and I'll be writing about it soon-ish thereafter. (The picture above is a preview of coming distractions)
If I neglected your email, I'm really sorry. There's no valid excuse. The truth is that I let deadlines suck my attention away from things I care about. Let's hope that by the end of the semester I have satisfactory grades to end all deadlines pertaining to this school and come home for some quality time with you.

It Feels Autumnal

It's October. You know this, but it finally feels like October. The leaves are all changing, the wind is chilly, pumpkins are appearing on porches, and I updated the playlist on my blog.
I went to my second haunted attraction of the season on Saturday night: Dr. Slaughter's House of Terror in Idaho Falls. It was fun. It wasn't quite as good as people had made it out to be. I still like the Haunted Mill the most. I have yet to go, but I can't wait.
Idaho really has a lot of options when it comes to Haunted attractions. And most of them are really reasonably priced. I've discovered that I love to be scared. Not scared in general, just the kind of scared you experience when you're expecting it and know that what's scaring you is not really dangerous. I love the feeling of being frightened.

I really have the urge to go out and explore some of the little ghost-towns out in the outskirts of Rexburg. I don't know why I get so thrilled over that sort of thing, but I do.
I'm updating my iPhone's software right now. It's the big IOS5. It's supposed to be mind-blowing amazing. I should know by later tonight if that's really the case. I'm sure I'll love it. It's crazy what I can do with that phone.
In less than a month, I'll reach my third decade. That is so crazy to me. I told my friend I'd be 30 in November. He said, "You're OLD!" I don't feel old. I feel young. In fact, I don't think the number says much about my age. Old and young are matters of perspective. To students here, 30 is old. To those my parents' age, 30 is the prime of youth. I say that I feel young and nobody can convince me I'm not. One day I'll be old. But I don't know if I'll ever act like it.
So I am now completely excited that it's fall. I hope to have plenty more exciting fun things to write about all throughout this month. Stay tuned.

Feeling at Home

I’m on a mini-sabbatical. I’m ditching out on a week of school and I’m okay with that.
I needed to be home. I needed to see my family in person. I needed to hear their voice, see their face, feel their arms around me. I needed to touch the hand of my new tiny nephew. I needed to spend some time with my Ju before she is gone to the island of Cebu for a year and a half.
Sometimes, when you are determined to do the things you need, other things, like school, are pushed to the back-burner. And you know what? That’s all right. When I get back from my trip, school will still be there, as stress-ridden and busy and wonderful as it always has been.
And now, a few other thoughts.
Here are a few little things I love:
-the warmth of candlelight
-the sound of trickling water
-the smells of autumn
-fresh soft towels
-rainy days
-a good book with a comfy chair and blanket
Once in a while, a list like this forms in my mind, and I just sweep it out onto the page.
It’s good to be home. It’s good to hear all the sounds I’m accustomed to. This morning, I woke up completely disoriented. I thought, where am I? This isn’t my bed. What is going on? It’s funny how your mind settles into a routine and when that routine is altered, it really throws you off. It took a good 20 seconds for me to realize where I was.
I feel refreshed. I’ve been able to stop and see the new baby calves in our herd, see our horses, taste the sweet corn my family raises, breathe in the scent of freshly-cut hay, and the approach of a rainstorm, and hear the sound of the tractor go by the house. These are the sensations that set things right. These are the feelings of home. This has been my therapy. (And Cat’s hot tub helps too)

It's Go Time!

I have a lot on my mind. I figured I should sit down and write about it; that always helps me to sort things out and let my mind stop mulling it over.
The past two weeks have been, and I do not exaggerate, the absolutely most stressful time of my life.
I've been told, and I'd have to agree, that I'm normally the calm one amidst any chaos. The past two weeks dissolved that cool constitution into a more frenzied and anxious version of myself.
I can sit down and write about it now, because I've braved the worst of it and worked through things. I want to sort of spell out all that's happened, just so you'll have an idea of where I'm coming from. This is not a "surprise, you were expecting a blog post and instead got thrown into a pity-party!" I'm trying to avoid that tone; as I said, the worst is past. And I'm now calm, collected, relaxed ...ish.

First, I only just yesterday finalized my schedule for the semester. I'd visited the Academic Advising center 3 times, each time I got a different take on my situation. On my last visit, their conclusion was that I was 1 credit short of graduating and that I had no other choice but to come back to school for another full semester to finish one credit. I explained what that implied for me and asked if there wasn't anything else they could do. They wouldn't budge. I think they're trained to respond that way.
So in despair, I went to a miracle-working man who is the chair of the geology department, Dan Moore. He looked things over and within a 5 minute visit, he had signed his name to a paper authorizing a change that would allow me to graduate in December. He had also, in that brief time given me some sound advice about weathering life's storms, what steps I should take to prep for grad school, and how to cope with challenges. He really merits the title "game changer".
Two weeks back, on Friday, I noticed an itch in my throat. I checked things out in the mirror and realized my tonsils were bright red and swollen. So I went to the student health center. They tested me for mono and strep. And then tested me for mono again 5 days later. Both tests were negative. So I'm fighting some sort of sinus infection, taking antibiotics since the steroids they gave me didn't seem to help the inflammation.
I got a call last week from the secretary of the VP of the University. One worries when one gets such a call -even if one hasn't done anything they think would merit such a visit. My mind was busy reviewing all my recent actions, scrutinizing every act that might have been out of line with what the university expects. The anticipation of that visit tormented me for a full day. On the day of the appointed visit, I called the secretary to see if I could get the interview moved up: I couldn't endure the wait any longer. An hour later, I was in his office having a chat. He's an amazing man and he approached the issue as "I'm sure I can learn a few things from you and I'd like to teach you a few things if I can." The issue at hand: I posted a picture of a campus banner on my facebook page, having added a twist to it by throwing in an additional line to the message on the banner. All that agonizing over something I had considered so laughable.
On top of that, I hadn't yet received my financial aid funds, and I was feeling the squeeze.
I was taking 5 classes, all labor-intensive.
I got called in for an interview with the Stake President. He talked a bit with me, and then instead of issuing me a call explained that he could tell that this semester was not the semester for me to take on a calling. The interview was to extend a call, but he decided not to even issue it. I didn't want to have to refuse a calling. I was saying an honest prayer of thanks on the walk home from that meeting.
There's more to the list, but I think this paints enough of the scene for you. One of the beautiful things about life is that things end. Tonight, for the first time in almost 2 weeks, I am able to breathe easy; my stomach is not in knots, and I am smiling. I have to send a thank you to those people in my life who have empathy, to those who listen patiently while I spill my woes, to those who send much-appreciated aid my way. You know who you are, and your timing is uncanny. If you take anything from this, it's that life will send you Hell sometimes. But Heaven is still where it's always been, and it's closer than you think. The phrase "this too shall pass" is really a wonderful truth (and it sounds best when said in the voice of Sister Encarnacion).
Now, onto something else. I recently read "The Help". Now, my usual book choice is chosen from the classics. I rarely pick up a modern best-seller, because a lot of the time they provide entertaining reading, but nothing very meaningful or worthwhile. The Help was the surprise of the year for me. It was endearing from the first chapter. I was able to finish it in three days. After reading a few chapters, I got an idea. I added the "Patsy Cline" station to my Pandora list. I found it to be an ideal mix of music for playing in the background as I read. The day I finished reading, I knew I had to send the book on to my sister. So that afternoon, I packaged it and sent it. She read it and passed it on. While I did yearn a bit to hang onto it, I wanted even more to share it. If you have any interest in reading at all, read it. And pass it on. It's full and deep and will get you thinking and laughing, loving and crying. It's a book that touches you deeply.
Now, I make an announcement. I am taking a trip. I've been trying to announce this to my family over the phone, but haven't gotten an answer yet, so it's being blogged first. I'm heading down to Salt Lake City for general conference weekend. I'm spending the weekend with my besties Perla and Misty. I can't tell you how excited I am for that. And on Sunday, I'll leave my car in the care of friends in Utah and I'll travel with my Perla and Misty straight to Arizona! I can't express how excited I am. I need to see my sister Ju before she leaves for her mission. I explained this decision to one of my instructors, and she totally agreed with my choice. (Her name is Sister Hansen, and she is amazing).
So for at least 4 days I'll get to be in Joseph City sort of taking a break from school and enjoying a long-overdue visit with the people and places I love the most. I know that after a few days on the road, I'll miss my Rexburg friends, I'll miss my bed, I'll miss the gym, and I might even miss school. When I get back to Rexburg, it will be October. And despite any reason school gives me to fret, I will have plenty of reasons to be content, to be calm amidst the storm.

Seasons

I suppose it's time for another entry.

I spent the majority of today lounging around in my bedroom watching movies. The reason? My tonsils are red, inflamed, and swollen. I don't really feel sick, except for the fact that it hurts to swallow. This set in on Friday night and I think I might go in and have it checked out at the Student Health Center tomorrow morning since it shows no sign of clearing up.

Isn't that life for you? You have a beastly first week of classes, and instead of a weekend of recovery, you are fighting sickness and stacks of homework. I keep trying to focus on the positive.

After being in my room nearly all day, I had to venture out. A walk gets me out of the house, gets me some fresh air, fresh imagery, and gets the blood circulating. It was refreshing to notice the subtle beginnings of autumn approaching. I love the fall season. I only hope my school schedule will allow me to enjoy it, at least a little.

My walk was just over 3 miles and at the perfect time in the early evening to catch the prime warmth and glow of the setting sun, enjoy the hint of breeze, take in the smells and sounds of the outdoors, and stop at a few bridges to sit and watch the water flow in the canal.

I know I had more to say ...

Oh, yeah. One of the coolest things happened this week: the reunion of Team 109. All my pre-mission roommates from the Fall of 2008 are now home from their missions and are all now back at school here! We met for dinner Wednesday night and had a blast just reminiscing on old times/inside jokes, and getting caught up. How did I get so lucky that semester? We were all really good friends. I've had some great roommates since, some that I've become great friends with, but never since that semester has the whole apartment been 100% awesome like that.

Speaking of roommates, I feel 100% isolated at the moment. All of my roommates except one are big time geeks. I am not exaggerating. I don't feel I can relate to any of these guys, except one. The one exception is the one I share a room with. He is really easy going and down-to-earth and considerate. But he's also engaged, and his fiance has a house here in town. So he is never around, except to sleep.

I think I need to start planning to spend more time on campus. Because sharing an enclosed space with 4 sci-fi/computer/gaming enthusiasts is just starting to make me cranky. I keep telling myself it will all be over in 12 weeks; that still seems a long way off.

I finished reading the book "The Help" this week. I haven't enjoyed a book that deeply in years. I'm usually not one to go for more modern novels, especially those that are super popular. But this book was well worth reading. I was amazed by what I found in it. I finished it within a week, and I highly recommend it.

I am still awaiting financial aid money. When it comes, I can book a flight down to Arizona. There is a danger in this: if I go to Arizona, I'll have to leave it again. And I may not want to.

By the way, I've decided something this week: I am not going straight to grad-school after graduation. I know it's not the conventional thing to do, but it is my choice. I need a mental break and some time to shift focus for a bit. Since I can, I will. Now I've got to find a job. The world is open, and I'm ready to seize it.

So that's it. The season for feeling like it's my last semester.

It Begins

Today was the first day of my last semester (fingers doubly-crossed) here at BYU-Idaho. I don't usually like to share things that make you fret, so please don't. I'm only writing this because this is my online journal, and it's my creative outlet. Right now, my stomach is in knots. I'm stressed. It's nothing I can't manage, but if it's prolonged, I may need some sort of professional help (I need Ramses!). Here's what's on my plate: 7:45am Calculus II 9:00am A computer programming course ( I don't care to remember the name) 10:15 am Physics. Again. Yipee. 11:30am Persuasion. I have friends in all of the classes except persuasion (which is a comm class). I know that 'ere long I will have enough friends in that class too. Of all those courses, the only one that excites me is persuasion. It will undoubtedly be my saving grace, refreshing my mind and bringing excitement to my academic realm. That does it for classes. Now, I've also been given the opportunity to be a student coordinator over talent exploration activities on campus. That means that I oversee all the managers of things on campus like dance workshops, writers workshops, stadium singing, ...yeah. Totally voluntary, and a fun thing to be involved in, but one more thing to take care of. And I've had two phone-calls in the past week, both of them from the executive secretaries of two different stakes. The first was to confirm that I was still a "student rep" for the Institute of Religion in Rexburg (a calling I got a year ago, and never had any follow-up contact about). They still want me to do that calling, whatever it is. And the second call came today from my own stake. I find out tomorrow what joyous calling they are considering adding to my life. Did I mention that I work? And that I donate plasma? And that I am still waiting on my financial aid funds to be made available? The reason for my stress, in this instance is that my current world involves all give and no take. Dear stake president, please say just kidding. Ok. So the photo at the top is what I've currently got as the desktop background on my computer. Sometimes images can do so much to enhance my mood. When I see that photo, it's a reminder that I do, in fact, love the fall season. I love the smells, the change in temperature, the colors, the fun. It reminds me that the holidays are right down the road, and with them, family and friends. The photo below is what's hanging (a photo-on-canvas print) on my bedroom wall. I, in the years of transferring my belongings from one apartment to the next, have learned not to decorate. It's a sad reality that bare walls are much less hassle when moving time comes around. But I saw this piece of wall-art at Ross. It was ten dollars, and that made the decision easy. It's now adding some warmth and life to my once bare off-white wall. I'll end with that. Any good stress-management insights? Feel free to share them!

Summer is Waning

I don't know why, but I'm feeling poetic today. 

I'm hanging onto these last few slices of summer and trying to savor them for all they're worth; school starts for me on Monday. And while that comes with an excitement all its own, coupled with the thrill of the change in seasons, I'm just not ready for summer to be over yet.

I thrive on days that were meant to be spent swimming in a river.

I live for afternoons when the sun invites you to lay out, when the breeze is just right.

I can't bear the thought of not enough time in the afternoon for a quick nap with the summer sun warming my skin through the window.

But in anticipation of a season of change, I am starting to get ready. Here's where I tell you the things that will most certainly jeopardize my man-card holding privileges.

I bought some L'oreal exfoliating scrub. I use it every night and it's heaven to my face.

My friend Diana offered to wax my eyebrows ---and I accepted.

I went and had my back waxed. (Now that should redeem some man-points. That took some real ...cojones). I was reminded of the scene in the movie Hitch where Albert is getting his back waxed: "Sweet Georgia Brown!"
After the waxing, I got a massage.

Today, I go in for a trim.

I will be ready for school. All these little self-indulgent things are helping me to get excited.

Note: the eyebrow treatment took a total of maybe 10 minutes, and let me put it this way: I never thought I could love my eyebrows this much.

The gym has been good to me. I continue to make progress, losing flab and gaining that dense, strong, lovely stuff we call muscle.

Friends are coming back into town -friends I haven't seen since my first semester here. Reunions will be joyful.

I fear that the fun of the Fall semester will pass all too quickly and that before I know it, I'll be plunged into real society to decide my next move and determine the path that I will travel next.

Hi there!

It's been about 7 weeks, and I am full of guilt; see, when school was in, I had every bit of an excuse to not be blogging. I was finishing out a very demanding semester. But that was over almost 4 weeks ago, and here I am just now writing anything. All I can offer in the way of an explanation is that I've been enjoying summer, and for that, nobody can expect me to apologize.

So, some of you need an update, the rest of you can just skim through the details you already know to get to the better, fresher ingredients that make this blog stand out amongst it's competitors like Papa John's pizza.

I decided to stay in Rexburg for the 7-week semester break. The geology dept. offered to allow me to work through the break, which is nice. But while that means a source of income and a something productive to do during my break, it also means that I won't be seeing my family and friends in Arizona. It also means that a much-less-exciting Rexburg is my home with most all of the college students leaving.
But here is my pledge: when school starts up again, I'll be planning a trip (during school?!! ...I know). I'd like to visit before my Ju leaves for her mission to the Filipino island of Cebu.

But for the meantime, I'll be hangin' with the spud farmers here. And in my free-time, here's what I do:
1) SWIM! There are some awesome places to go here: Rigby Lake (5 bucks per vehicle), The sandbar in St. Anthony (free), Monkey Rock (where the picture at the start of this post was taken, also free), and lots of others that I have yet to try.
2) GYM! You're all sick of hearing about it, but I stick with it. I'm making extra efforts since I don't have school.

3) MOVIES! God bless the dollar theater! I've seen some really great movies this summer. If movies were a drug, I'd need an intervention. I recently acquired a few new titles I've been meaning to add to my collection for years: the Hunt for Red October and Freaky Friday. I know those two are at opposite ends of the entertainment spectrum, but such are my tastes. I found them at Hastings. If movies were a drug, Hastings would be my dealer. That store is altogether way too fun.

So here's the story of the photo at the start:
It was the last week of school and a group of us decided to (ok, promise not to tell. Promise? ok, keep reading) ...break curfew and go night-swimming and then go eat out at Denny's. It was awfully mischievous and awfully fun. I might add that the water was FREEZING cold. Monkey rock is a fork of a river where the water passes over a rock ledge (a jointed basalt vitrophyre, to be precise ...and I know my Mom now knows at least what basalt is). It's a great little swimming hole where you can actually swim under the waterfall and come up behind it. We took glowsticks to light the way, then stacked them on the rocks behind the waterfall. It looked all strangely glowy, kind of like the planet Pandora on the movie Avatar.
I adjust pretty quickly to cold water, as long as it's not too cold. So it was fun, until everyone else couldn't stand it any longer and we headed off to Denny's. We got home around 3:30am. Then at 10:00am, I went to take my Group Dynamics final, which was fine because it was an interview with my instructor, not a written exam. I really like those kind a lot better. So while breaking curfew is really not acceptable behavior here, it was totally worth it.

I mentioned finals, so here are the outcomes: An A in Book of Mormon (my final religion class), An A in Group Dynamics (so sad this class is over!), A B+ in Calculus (which is a KILLER because it's an 89.4%! Only .6 of a percent away from an A-!!!), and an F in Physics. Yes, I failed that awful, awful class. I was concerned about it, because I need it to graduate. I talked with my good friend, the division chair of geology, Dan Moore about it. He said "just take the lower-level Physics and call it good." If he says so, I'm 100% fine with doing that. Physics 105, here I come. I've said it before, but I know the reason that I don't do well with Physics is that it is highly-detailed in areas that I just have no desire in. I love learning, and I love knowing that we have methods for deriving the physical details of the minutia that make up the foundation of our physical world, but I'd rather leave it to those who get a kick out of solving it. I have to literally force myself to even try at every turn along the Physics path. There's no desire there to keep me trekking along otherwise.

For the rest of the break, I'd like to go camping, keep swimming, and gym-ing, and movie-ing. And I'd really like to come home, but for the sake of finances, that one will have to wait.

The One About Motivation

I thought that if I titled this post like an episode of FRIENDS, it would have more appeal.

Here it is, the promised post about motivation and fitness. I'll start with this one idea: one is a product of the other. In fact, either can produce the other. This should become clearer as I explain.

I'm going to lead you on a little trip: it's the story of how I found my motivation.
I don't pretend to be some fitness guru or even close to being in great shape. What I can say, with confidence brimming, is that I found a start to the journey!

Here's some back-story to bore you all into leaving the computer: If I want to remember what it was like to have a flat stomach, I have to think back decades. Even then, I carried that cute-at-the-time baby fat. Still, I was a healthy little guy. For all the rest of my life, I've had some extra flab hanging onto my body: belly, sides, cheeks, arms, legs, you name it. I didn't consider myself obese, but I knew I was overweight. I know that weight or size does not equate self-worth, but it sure is a factor in self-image. In high-school, I went from being a 210 lb.-sophmore to an eventual 185 lb.-senior...

What had I changed? My junior year I started running, and my senior year I added football to my activities. The daily cardio-burn really helped me shed the pounds. That was a very positive feeling, and I learned something from it: I have the potential to change. I didn't have to abandon hope and accept my belly-flab as my constant companion.

So, I had lost weight. I look back at pictures, and I can see it in my face: I look more lean. However, the mid-section still held onto that stubborn flab. Once I left home in the individual pursuits of the next few years, running became less of an option (especially in Canada) and football was a thing of the past. I slowly regressed into the 210-220 lb. range (thank you, MTC Cafeteria).

Since returning from the mission, I've had spurts of motivation that have led me to the gym pretty consistently to run the treadmill or use the elliptical machine, but it never made a huge difference for me. My weight would fluctuate, but I'd never get any promising results and my motivation wavered.
Let me fast-forward to this year.
2011, January. I was off-track, in Arizona having the time of my life being with family and friends. The holidays at home provided a great dosage of rich food, then I moved to Queen Creek to live with my brother and sister-in-law.
I worked with my brother for a bit, and our most convenient source of food was the entire imaginable gamut of fast-food chains. We also thrived on caffeinated soda to keep us running steadily through the long work-days. I didn't have a scale handy at the time, and was happy to avoid one. I didn't like eating that way, but I lacked desire to do anything different.
Then I stopped working (yeah, it happens to college students from time to time). Suddenly, I had some time to do things. I could read, I could nap, I could walk the dogs, I could visit friends, watch movies, shop, eat, laugh, cry, ponder, spit, hike, breathe, or make funny faces in the mirror if I wanted! This was actually the best thing that could've ever happened for me at that point.

Enter Perla.

Perla had been talking about P-90X. I wanted to try it, so one day we planned to get together and do Yoga. (Yoga isn't for everyone, but I LOVE it. The best de-stressing mechanism for me. Moving on...) Once I had a taste of work-out time with Perla, it became a regular thing. We'd decided a time, we'd get together, and we'd work out. On days when we weren't, I would always go jog the running trails that go through the neighborhood (and they are AWESOME!). I decided to cut all soda out of my diet and to really avoid fast food and sweets. Perla and I also did some looking into foods that are nutrient-rich and low-calorie and started getting creative with including them in my diet. Things were changing.

This was the start of a journey I wasn't even aware I was on.
My weight-drop wasn't drastic, but I started to see subtle signs of a leaner physique.

I want to point out that 1) motivation got me started and 2) improved fitness fueled my motivation.

Let point out some other key factors here: in high-school, my weight-loss was due to cardio alone. Quit or reduce the cardio, and fat will start taking up residence like you've just refurbished its dwelling. I've since learned that a great combo for long-term leanness has three key elements: cardio, weight-training, and eating right.
Let me explain why, and then I'll get on with "the rest of the story". Cardio burns calories and results in a slimmer build. But weight-training builds muscles. More muscle mass in your body means more calories/nutrients are needed to sustain the body, so the calories you do take in are being used -not stored as much. And proper eating even further limits calorie intake so that you get more nutrients and less junk. Summation: you can fight calories from 3 different angles. It's a triple-combo that brings more satisfaction than any combo meal at Burger King ever will.

So, in April, I came back to Rexburg for school and I got a screaming deal on a gym membership (seriously, it's 10-dollars a month with no contract). I weighed in at 212 lbs. when I got here. Since then, I've dropped 12 lbs. I remain right around 200 lbs. as I swap muscle mass for fat.
Every week, I see new changes for the better. I wear a 32-waist now, and that just thrills the heck out of me (thrift-store shopping possibilities just increased!). I try on shirts, and they fit me really well. I can look in the mirror with real satisfaction and smile at what I see. I do that every day now.
Looks aren't even the best part. I feel so amazing! I keep kicking myself for waiting so long to feel so good! Prior to my changes, I felt sluggish most of the day. I could do what I needed to do, but felt like a nap was what I really needed most. Now, I am energetic, much more happy, and I feel things much more! When I laugh, I feel the emotion, not dulled by any bodily fatigue. When I am moved to tears, I feel that emotion in its fulness. When I feel joy, I really feel like I'm brimming with goodness. My body was made to perform! Let me emphasize that by repetition: My body was made to perform. It seems to go against our intuition that a tired, worn-out body would benefit by added activity. But it does!

My friends here at school have noticed the change in my mood and behavior and will frequently ask me what energy drink I'm on. It's fun to be able to respond, "LIFE!" I seriously feel that I have been physically reborn. I have a new and different frame. I have defined muscles. I can see that there is a frame under the layers of flab that were once there. I see the veins that operate to send nutrients to the ends of my limbs. The body is an amazing machine, and it is made to perform.

The reason that I have taken the time to write this down is 1) I need to record these thoughts for later, 2) I have learned a lot through this process and feel obliged to pass it on, and most importantly, 3) I hope that my insights can serve as a spark to make some changes in your own daily routine. *I am not trying to brag.
I know that you are many things: parents, students, teachers, employees ...and it is a real challenge to find the way to bring fitness into your life even when the motivation is there. Start with eating right. That's one of the biggest favors you can do yourself. Eat often, and eat the things that are good for you. Learn to turn down sweets. It's an un-American thing to do, but it's so good for you.

I can stand confidently and say that every person reading this has the potential to change. Some things are out of our control. We can accept that. Our personal fitness is completely in our own hands.

Now, if you're serious about this, here is your first assignment: find your motivation.
Here's how I found it: I went to Vegas, we took pictures. When I came back, I was really not pleased at all with how I looked. That got me started. The progress I see along the way keeps me going. Find your motivation, and start your journey -even if it's small steps in the start.