Say, What?

(In the picture: Steve, Bryce, and Brenden. Someone gave me the idea of making this picture look like a poster for a band. Well, this is what I came up with. Thanks Eash! We ROCK on ROCK BAND!)

Oh, no. Not again. I'm starting a post without knowing what I'll write. It offers a certain thrill for me, but what about my readers? Maybe they'll like it .....

Now, the question again: Say, what? Or the statement: What to say. Hmm.

A current goal: show my smile

A current desire: let my light shine.

I got a compliment today. It was one of those round-about sort of way compliments. Let me explain: I'm barely acquainted with "Sophie". I play Rock Band with my neighbor Tyler now and then, and Sophie is Tyler's girlfriend. Well, being that I've rocked the microphone and got the endorphins flowing while she's around, I'm always in a rather cheery and out-going state-of-mind when she's around. I'm not holding anything back, I'm being my all-out crazy self.

So last night, she was headed home with a few of my lady friends, and (here's the compliment part) she mentioned that she thought I was "cool" and "way funny". So my friend passed on that nice little tid-bit. Not that I seek recognition or an ego boost, but it's nice to hear things like that. It made my day. And it gives me a bit more confidence to continue expanding my comfort zone and be more out-going. It's a work in progress. I've never regretted being a little less shy.

New topic -a current trend (I don't know what else to call it):
I'm very into listening to music. I've always considered music a huge part of my life, but lately, it's taken the lead role in lots of settings and the other things I'm doing are supporting roles. This only applies to my private life. I'm not the type that plugs my ear-buds in my head and abandons society to my MP3 player's vibes. But when I'm on my own, you can bet that I'll be jamming. I've gotten into a sort of discovery process where I'll hear something I like, jot down the name of the song or artist, and go listen to their stuff online. I'm also re-discovering old favorites that have been hiding out in the back of my CD wallet for a few years.

I talked to Lacy today. Her conversational interaction continues to grow. I can't wait to go home and play with my nieces/nephew and get a fresh perspective from their amazing perceptions. (College kids can only give me so much)

Am I now a true citizen of Rexburg? One of the townspeople? I'm starting to think so. I went to Broulim's grocery store today and saw my dentist and the geology department secretary; the man who works on me and the lady who works with me.

A current observation: Everyone's got the "perfect" girl for me to date. The problem is, that person is not living anywhere near here. I'm open to options. I really am. But proximity governs a lot of my attention. Folks will give me an overview of the prospective date, maybe show me a picture or two, and then pose the question, "So, are you interested?"
What? Are you joking? I mean, I was just introduced to the idea of this person 5 minutes ago. You expect me to have a feel for them and be able to judge my own feelings towards them based on ... huh?
Am I the only one who's baffled at this?

I've typically responded, "Uh, I'm not sure! It's a possibility, but I've never met this person." Not that I distrust their judgement, but.... well, actually I do. I'll admit. Nobody can make that choice for another person. I'm completely open to suggestions, which is why I will always give the recommendation an honest look. But I've got to feel things out with a person before I can judge whether I find them attractive. (Call me crazy)

For now, I'm still sticking to the grass on my side of the fence. I won't turn away other options, but I've got to be realistic. I live in Rexburg. I walk to school. A weekend road-trip to California is a little unrealistic.

I know I probably take dating a bit too seriously. In my head, it's a daunting idea -a complex task which requires me to exercise a lot of decision making with decisions based on feelings. I should just quit being cautious and go ask a girl on a good casual date just for the sake of getting acquainted. I suppose I'm hesitant because experience has made me that way, which is just dumb. Not all experiences are going to lead to complications, but my goll dern logic can't seem to shake the idea. It (my stubborn logic) seems to think that the bachelor life is much less complex and easier to figure out.

Of course, my logic's right. But that's not what I want from life! Relationships are what make life rich. Bachelor life is a lot of fun -I'm making the most of it. But my heart is open wide to that companionship that will (with all its complications) add immensely to the joy I already know.

A current thought: tonight was fun. I went with Bryce, Preston, Tyler, and Mike to a game night at our friends' place in Hill Crest apartments. Apples to Apples, brownies, movie quotes, catch phrase, sardines, tree-climbing, and lots of laughs.

A closing thought: it was "Mothers Weekend" at BYU-Idaho: a weekend filled with great uplifting activities, concerts, sales, and seminars for students and their mothers who are invited to visit. It's neat to see all the moms walking around, getting a taste of what their kids experience. Arizona is a long way away. But Mom, I love you. I miss you. I'm imagining a summer night and Mom's chocolate chip cookies waiting on the cooling rack set out on the counter. I'm picturing irrigation boots on the porch and flashlights on the kitchen table, and my Mom doing her best to make life pleasant for her tired irrigators. What a lady!

For not having anything to say, I've sure filled the page, and then some. Goodnight!