Tuesday, April 7, 2009

100? No, really?

Usually for the hundredth post, people do something crazy and spectacular like divulge 100 random facts about themself, post pictures of groups of 100 random items, hold an online give-away, or some other such bid-ness.
I really just couldn't bring myself to do any of that. Instead, I decided to just lump together all the "I should blog..." thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head for the past few weeks all combined into one entry. That's right, the real me.

Let's start off with the picture above. It's atypical for me to blog about movies, but for post 100, I'm doing it. I've decide that there are certain movies so incredibly stupid that you find yourself with a craving to watch them on a regular basis. Ok, so homestarrunner.com is not a movie, but it fits the category, so it's in there. Those are definitely my top four.
Some of you might be thinking, "What about _______ such-and-such movie?" Well, that's your opinion. Go blog about it.
Nacho Libre is at the top of the list. Anyone who can't appreciate that movie either needs to watch it with the right person to truly discover it, or spend the rest of their life confined to the reference section of the library where they'll be content and keep their opinions to a whisper 'CUZ THEY DON'T HAVE ANY TRACE OF A SENSE OF HUMOR!
As for The Princess Bride, it's got to be the least stupid of the list, but it really is; and for that reason, I find it kind of endearing. It would only be a mediocre movie if it weren't for all the dumb subtleties in it.

If you haven't experienced homestarrunner.com, you've got to at least try it. But be warned: it's a bunch of stupid nonsense. You may consider having a guide show you the site before trying to browse the uncharted waters. A couple of recommendations from their sb emails link: dragon, crying, love poems, and dangeresque 3.
Yes. That should mush your brain enough for you to start appreciating the merit of that website.

Secondly, I don't agree with all these "cause" things on facebook. I've recieved several invites to join the cause, "follow the prophet". While it sounds great, what's the point? Am I a bad person because I'm not going to join the "Follow the Prophet" cause on facebook? Would it help to mention that the reason I can't accept your invitation to join that cause is that I'm currently involved in a group called The Buttercream Gang and helping old widow Jenkins up when she falls has become such a labor-intensive commitment that I just don't have time to devote to an online cause. I am, after all, a part of the cause to "follow the prophet" in real life. Following the Prophet isn't something as fleety as a random application on a social network. It is the outward expression of a deep inner conviction of gospel truths. I'm sorry if I've offended any well-meaning people who sleep better at night because you've found a cause online. But I'm still left wondering, what's the point? An online cause is a weak substitute for physically standing up for what you believe in. I'll skip the online cause and focus on the real one. Sorry.

Third: I've got a dillema. Let me illustrate.
I'm at a fast-food joint. I approach the menu board. I decide on what meal I want. So far, so good. But then I have to choose a side item to accompany the meal. There used to be only one option: fries. You just choose a size and get your fries. But now, you've got a whole range of options! You can choose from the following: Small cup of fruit, small yogurt with granola, fries, a cup of chili, the 5-piece chicken nuggets (with your choice of dipping sauce), or ....taters. THAT, my friends, is a dilemma in itself, but the real dilemma I'm talking about is "TATERS". I wouldn't bother with it, but for the fact that they're such a tasty item that I sometimes really want them! So, if you're wanting the "taters", how do you order an item like that? I mean, I just can't bring myself to say it! "I'll have the ....the um, ......those little potatoe, uh ...." The cashier inquires, "I'm sorry, what was that?" O gosh. I'll have to say it. I'll just sort of mumble it. "Taters." "You want what?" "TATERS!OK! I want the freakin' TATERS! I'll say it in FULL WESTERN TWANG so yer SURE tuh underSTAND. Ya heard what I said son! Now go on an' rustle me up a heap o' them TATERS!"
Seriously, who's putting the menu together in this place? Do you have some old back-woods prospector workin' on it back there? Can we expect the "Combo Meal" menu to read "Grub an' Fixins" and the side items to be labeled "vittles" sometime in the near future? Do you pay the old prospector with chicken nuggets?
It's a huge dilemma. I would just stick with fries, but gosh darn it if them tater tots don't jest make yer mouth water now and then. They've got me, and I just don't know what to do about it. I could do the little kid thing and point to what I want. I could just opt for Chinese food. Or maybe I could just learn what they call taters in Spanish. I guarantee somebody working in that restaurant would understand.

Well, thanks for joining me for post #100. We're in the triple digits now folks. There's no turning back. Excuse me, I'm gonna go fix me a batch o' them one things...


Alicia said...

I need to watch Nacho Libre with you.

Don't apologize for your stance on things, me boy. So what if you don't join a cause? Don't be zorry! Be firm! Stand tall! Chin up! Also, I don't facebook, so I can't really make a worthwhile comment about it.

The whole "tater" thang made me laugh out loud. I don't usually laugh out loud to blog posts. And I NEVER lol. Just to be clear.

I still remember sitting at breakfast at band camp, and one of my fellow girl campers held up a tot and said, "Why are they called 'tater tots?' It's so random and it doesn't make any sense at all." At the time, I was a particularly reserved person, but I couldn't help saying as nicely as possible, "Taters is short for potatoes and tot is short for toddler." Then she almost fell off her seat with the "cuteness" of it all. Why do I remember things like this and not things like scriptures and deep quotes? Why? I don't know. I really don't know.

Cat said...

Well Steven, your hundredth post did not dissapoint. I read it 1st thing this morning so I know I'll be chuckling all day. I love Nacho Libre, in fact in my head I quote him every time I put on my "stretchy pants". As for fast food restaurant menus, Unless your ordering a salad, it's hard to keep any dignity while ordering. I luckily have children, so I can get away with it. "I'll have the salad & the children will have some tots".

Alona said...

I'm with Alicia - I was laughing out loud about the tater tots! As for causes on FB, I totally agree - lastly I pity the fool who don't love a little Nacho!

Jewel said...

I loved this post--especially your rant about facebook causes. I always feel somewhat guilty when I turn them down ("no, I don't want to be part of the 'save children/stop abortion/ctr/I'm a fan of Pres. Monson' cause--I'm basically a heartless infedel"), but REALLY??? What do they accomplish, anyways?

I also loved the "tater" tangent. In fact, I just had some leftover tater tot casserole for lunch. And it was delicious. I don't even care that they're named something that sounds like you'd be able to find on Sesame Street...they're delectable.