As I sat down to write, I was startled by a loud clap of thunder. BANG!!! I had to look out the window. This was no false alarm. The sky was announcing the start of a good soaking hailstorm and downpour. I've opened my bedroom window wide. The sound of rain and thunder entertain me and the fresh smell makes me want to stop typing and go out into the downpour. I won't because I've currently got some little head cold that's kept me congested and drowsy all day, and I don't want it to get worse.
Rain makes me want to write. Or read. Or start a load of laundry (so inspiring, I know).
I don't know why, but for some reason that EVE 6 song "Inside Out" has been popping into my head a lot. You know, "I would swallow my pride, I would choke on the rind, but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside". The lyrics aren't all that uplifting, but they're catchy, and the tune is oh, so sweet.
This past week has given me two reminders of my own faults. I don't think I'm scatter-brained. But from time to time, I catch myself forgetting something important. For example, I agreed to set up an exercise for an instructor in the Geology Dept. It had to be ready for them to start on June 4th. Well, I totally spaced it. I didn't remember until I walked into the Romney building the day of the exercise and saw the students doing the exercise. The instructor had to set up the exercise himself at the last minute. Ugh.
That's not all. I got an assignment back from my technical writing teacher today. It was supposed to have a reference page with 10 sources listed on it. Now, I'd done that reference page! Where was it! I checked to see if it had been stapled to the back and had just been ripped off. No. There was no trace of another paper ever having been stapled to the back. I searched through my folder's right pocket. Nothing. I searched in the left pocket. At the very back, all by itself, was the reference page, right behind the rough draft of my assignment.
I was docked about 50 points for that little mistake. But the teacher is going to let me email her a copy of the reference page and she can "negotiate" some points for me having done it. Wow. There'd be no better way to punish my stupidity than to tell me that no, my work doesn't speak for itself; I have to negotiate for any credit I'm to recieve.
I think that this semester, more than any other so far, I've caught myself saying, "Oh well, it's just school." It's my attempt to reassure myself that it doesn't matter as much as I think it does.
I hate to feel that way about school! I've always loved learning. I guess when I get bogged down with coursework that seems completely pointless, it gets to me. I feel like I'm just jumping through the academic hoops to earn the paper that will grant me success in the career world. I have to stop and remember that I'm here to learn. I can't let the stupidity of school get in the way of that objective. I have to judge my success as a student by what I've gained despite all the crummy nonsense I have to endure.
I gave Bryce 20 bucks today. He's going to purchase lawn tickets for The Fray, in concert in Orem next month. It should be awesome.
Well, the rain has let up now. I think I'll go walk around a bit and breathe in the clean air.